Cupcake, anyone?

Earlier today –

I write this sipping my hot cup of coffee (Mocha, to be specific) and digging into my deliciously rich chocolate cupcake. Looking out of this new cafe which had been on my list of places to try out, on a (surprisingly) bright winter afternoon in London. I’d love to describe the details of the colourful and lively – well, life – on the street, but my writing skills would fail me greatly (as they just did!), so let me not even attempt that.

In the distance, I see The Shard, proudly towering over its neighbours, enjoying its place as one of the fanciest landmarks in the city. Oh, how it must feel!

As for me, I feel relaxed, hopeful, and at peace. Nowhere close to how I felt waking up this morning! You know when you are so determined and excited about something, but are then made to wait and toil for that same thing you so dearly want? When you are willing to give it your all at first, but over time feel drained and deprived? When uncertainty looms over your head like the dark clouds on a wintery London day?

That’s the time you need your ‘cupcake’ – that extra something within you that reminds you of how sweet the reward will be at the end of it all, how fortunate you are to even have had the chance to go for it, and when it’s all done and achieved, how much you are going to miss these days of labour.

After all, what’s there to have if not hope?

So push the clouds away, get your coffee, and BE your own cupcake!


Hello November!

It’s been 5 months since you quit your job…”, he said.

And she thought to herself – “so it begins…the taunts about me sitting at home, doing nothing with my life. About not showing any signs of wanting to contribute to the ‘family income’. About not helping keep the house clean – in fact, keeping it even more messy now that I was home for 9 more hours every day.” And the likes.

As guilt started to take over, and as she mentally prepared a response to all of this (which could only be to start crying the very next second), she asked – “yeah….and?

And you haven’t written a single blog post since then?!”.

At that very moment, she fell for him, the head over heels kind, all over again 🙂 (also gave the biggest (silent) ‘phew!’ in a long long time)

Well that’s not how THIS blog post happened (or maybe it is?). You see, I have been super busy these 5 months. Busy sleeping, watching TV, Facebooking, and simply lying around the house in various shapes and forms. And with the odd grocery shopping trips, it gets extremely exhausting.

My first day of ‘not going to work’ seems to have been long gone, although I still remember every hour of that day. Mostly because every hour was exactly the same and all about me regretting my big decision. The sudden lack of routine where none of the tasks were urgent or important (tasks being – clean the house, ummm…take a shower…make myself some lunch) drove me crazy. The only silver lining was not having to wake up at bloody 6.30am. Oh, and getting to watch my husband get ready for work as I sipped on my bed tea…absolute bliss!

Day 2 was the same. And then, instead of doing something about it, I simply got used to it. Hurray!

So. Here I am, 5 months later. 5 long months where life hasn’t ‘progressed’ much. I had quit my (first) job after 7 years with some clear goals in mind, and they were –

  1. Upskill myself enough (in the new field I am looking to shift to) to have employers queued up outside my house, within 6 months. With only a month to go, I have received ONE response from a recruiter so far. Note that I did not refer to it as a positive response. Ahem.
  2. Get proficient in a new language. I was 28% proficient in Spanish at the start of these 5 months (as per the app I was using), and now thanks to the super busy schedule I mentioned, all I remember in Spanish is “Yo no hablo Espanol” :-/
  3. Write, and write, and write. Let’s not even talk about this please. I mean, I couldn’t even recall my password to this site!
  4. Finally, focus on fitness. I did visit the gym thrice in these 5 months. Of these, once to ‘show the gym in our building’ to my parents. And the other 2 visits were an aftermath of hubby dearest referring to me as ‘adrak’ (ginger) (yeah, that’s the only kind of inspiration he takes from Bollywood <rolling my eyes>).

Now you might be wondering if these 5 months have been a complete waste. Well it’s not all been so gloomy and disappointing. What 7 years of working life couldn’t teach me, I have learnt quite well in these 5 months of being home. I can now –

  • make decent tea, with a 50% success rate. From zero to 50%, that’s a big one! (so proud)
  • finish an entire packet of Hide n Seek biscuits even before breakfast – something I must remember to put on my resume. (Mr. Kapur, the stock of Hide n Seek is finished. Just fyi in case you feel like having some.)
  • listen to certain songs for 9 hours at a stretch. And then husband comes home, so I need to act all serious and tired coz of all the studies that I am doing.

Apart from these very significant achievements, I have indeed spent a lot of time studying and am super excited to be making this career change (when some recruiter finally notices, that is). There have been times (sometimes, days at a stretch) when I went back into my shell and became a complete recluse. Times when I didn’t want to be left alone at home as my husband went to work. Times when I just couldn’t get myself to enter the kitchen one more time to make a meal. Or listen to another course lecture. But it’s mostly been time well spent – with my parents, with my family, with myself. Bright and sparkling days, with absolutely no regrets. 5 months of figuring out what I want to do in life and working towards it. I write this today, hopeful and excited about times ahead.

For now, time to load the dishwasher and clean the kitchen. How exciting. I had always dreamt of taking a break to be a homemaker someday, but never seriously hoped for God to actually listen to me. Oh well!